kalau ada jodoh

aku senang bersamanya. tp aku tau dia seorang flirtious, seorang yg bermanis mulut.

he's a dominant person, in group and in relationship.dia seorang authocrative.

tp tu laa..aku tau im not his type. and he likes lis.

we r like sis-bro who like each companionship.

but yea...2 b frank,he has what i want i a guy. i need someone who is dominant rather than me who controls.

what i can say is..kalau ada jodoh,ada lah.kalau takde, what else can i do.keep searching la.hehehe..

lulus ke?

to be honest, i cant stop praying for my actuarial paper.

im worried.the paper wasnt tht tough IF IT WAS MEANT FOR A LONG SEMESTER!!!

i dunno what was in mr jeffrey's mind. seriously i didnt expect 4 such question.

i was speechless.i dunno wat to expect.im worried..aftr wat i hv gone thru..if i stumble at the end of journey..sedihnya...

aida left to indonesia

aida is like my own sister. she was d one who lent me hands when i fell last semester. when nobody cares to know. when i have no one to turn to. not even my own sister.

Allah tested me to the maximum last semester and really..i cudnt go thru the time without her support. she was persistent to help me. she lent me RM800 to renew road tax though i refused. and i cudnt repay ....until now. hw cud i do tht? i dun hv money. and she knws that.

n yes, i manja dgn dia. im concern. im worried abt her health as she also has severe migraine.

and for that reasons, i luv her very much. i cried after she told me she wud going back to indonesia to do her articleship. and indeed im crying while i write this.

yesterday, we drove her to kl sentral after exam. i knw she wanted to cry when she hugged me. and i cant rmmbr well hw many times i cried last nite and nites before.

i luv her very much. i thank her for so many reasons. i owe her my success (passed sem 2) ...i owe her money...and i owe her my sanity!

tq so much sis..for everything. she shows me the real frenship. sisterhood.something tht i dun get from others. well, except akak..but of coz she was not there when i need her most during the tough time.

omigod...seriously..im soooo crazy over him.

omigod..his eyes take my breath away. im so certain..it has been long time since i have this kinda feeling.

d feeling where my heart beats fast like he is also thinking abt me at d same time.

he maybe give d look because m his student..but ..i dunno..i feel like everytime our eyes meet, it takes me away.hahahahahahaa...no..serious!!

he's almost perfect. he is 53 but he doesnt look like one. age doesnt catching up on him.

ya allah..deep in my heart, i do wish i hv jodoh with him.i knw i sound bad but i cant stop myself from thinking abt him.

semalam..

semalam teringatkan saat2 makcik adzrul datang umah aku, masa open house ari tu. sedih jugak..

aku tak la kenal elok, cam sgt muka dia. tp mama kenalkan and mula2 ok..tp makcik tu masa nak balik, dia peluk aku..dia ckp..sabar la.dah jodoh takde. dia tnya aku, dah ada pengganti ke tak?

aku buat2 senyum..aku ckp..takde lagi makcik..saya sibuk ngan keje.

......................................memang sedih..elok2 aku dah lupakan adzrul..terus teringat balik.dia dah kawin..aku rasa anak mesti dah 2.

hati ini telah dilukai..kerana dia, hati aku tertutup buat lelaki. susah sekali utk aku terima dan mengizinkan lelaki mengenali aku.

akhirnya..3 years after, im still alone.kesilapan aku?ntah..neither happy or sad with my own decision.

Hati yang Terluka (Lirik)

Kan kucari jalan yang sunyi
Untuk menghindar diri darimu
Kuberjanji di dalam hati
Takkan lagi ku menjumpaimu

Di tengahnya kabut bermandi embun pagi
Dingin membuat hatiku membeku

Kau yang telah membuat luka di hatiku
Kau yang telah membuat janji-janji palsu
Kau yang selama ini aku sayangi
Kau merubah cintaku jadi benci

Di tengahnya kabut bermandi embun pagi
Dingin membuat hatiku membeku
Kau yang telah membuat luka di hatiku
Kau yang telah membuat janji-janji palsu
Kau yang selama ini aku sayangi
Kau merubah cintaku jadi benci

ada ke dia ajak aku dating

adesss...kesian kat dia.dia ajak aku kuar 2,3 kali dah. tp aku buat dono je. siap bagi hint lagi nak bermesra ngan aku. gila laaa..anak ikan tu.budak lagi.

still no sign from Him

ya Allah..pls help me. ikhlas rang me today and informed us about management's decision to take 4 of us as interns.

ya allah..sesungguhnya hanya Engkau yang mengetahui. Bantu lah aku membuat keputusan. bantu lah aku untuk tidak menyesal dikemudian hari. bantu lah aku untuk dpt mmbantu ibu bapa ku. bantu lah aku ya allah..

kenapa tiada petunjuk dari Mu?

ya Allah, dengan rasa rendah diri dan malu, aku memohon petunjuk dariMu. memohon agar diberi jalan,tips utk aku mmbuat pilihan yg tepat. bantu la aku, Ya Allah..aku benar2 didalam kesempitan.
kesempitan dalam mencari sebuah petunjuk. ya Allah..kau permudahkanlah juga rezeki sahabat2 sekuliah ku. bantu la kami untuk menghidupkan industri kewangan islam ini, ya allah. kami yang telah terpilih utk meletakkan segalanya di belakang demi minat dan cita-cita.

ya Allah..bantu la kami. izinkan kami menjadi orang yg berguna di industri ini. bantu lah aku membuat keputusan. aku dah tak mahu melihat ibu bapaku menderita. dan dalam masa aku benar benar ingin menjadi somebody in takaful industry.

sesungguhnya hanya Engkau yang maha Mengetahui.

the day i feel like crying

allahuakbar..

aku betul2 dlm dilema. apa yg harus aku lakukan? berikan aku petunjuk..berikan aku hidayah..aku kesiankan ibu ku..cukup la apa yg sudah dilaluinya..cukup la deritanya.

ya allah..aku ingin lari jauh dari realiti ini. jauh sejauh2nya..kalau boleh, semua ini hanya satu mimpi ngeri.dan bila ku mata esok hari..tiada apa yg perlu ku tangisi. tiada yg perlu ku risaukan.

is it a correct decision?

i went to interview this morning and was offered job right at tht time. d payment is not interesting but i can bet it'll be a great experience 4 me to enjoy and learn. i dunno...when money is the focus, it'll be difficult later. i hv been suffering for one year and half. and shud i stay ..again?